Sometimes when I’m almost asleep some horrifying thought will wake me up with a start.
Sometimes it’s like a premonition thing, I used to have just a flash of a dream from the view of one sitting in the road with a huge semi barreling down on them. That stopped after the accident where the semi hit the car my friends and I were in.
Sometimes it’s hilarious. Yesterday Sasha chewed the face off of her stuffed duck toy. I started to fall asleep and woke up with the creepiest feeling that this humongous version of the duck’s head, like big enough to fill the room, was looming over me. It was somehow terrifying at the time but the more I think about it now the funnier it gets.
Sometimes though…sometimes I need to pay attention though. Last night it was the sudden very real clarity of my diet. I must quit eating shit. I’m literally hiding it from people, grabbing fast food in my car then denying I’ve already eaten. I’ve only gained five pounds but that takes me to a total of twenty five pounds gained since I started with Publix four years ago. Not good, and it makes me feel like shit mentally and physically when I treat my body like this. What sucks is that I know the solution I just really like whoppers and donuts, and I seriously hate getting up much less getting up and exercising.
I’m going to step down my routine a notch and change from running 30 minutes to getting the dogs around the block once a day. Better than nothing, aye? Also, instead of a set number of reps per workout move, I’ll do as many as I can plus a few more each day. I’ll try those small changes and call this day one. Again. I’m going to do this. I refuse to become a tub of lard.
Supposedly if I get my ass up off this couch, things will get easier. Just one week. Damn this week.