My Mind as a Ballerina


Normally I’m able to sleep soundly and at least focus on my day half-assed.  Between my youngest sis causing such a self absorbed ruckus and this wedding craziness though, I feel like my mind doesn’t have enough time to process everything.

Ken and I had a couple of serious talks the last couple days that have done us a world of good.  First of all the problem in the sack for us wasn’t one of us fitting together well. We do.  It turns out we both for our own reasons (him;the way he was raised and me;the way my grandma taught from the bible).  Simply waiting till after the wedding will solve that – whew!

That conversation brought up birth control again.  I keep suggesting it and he keeps insisting that I’m quite moody enough without adding that extra hormone mess into the cauldron.  Okay, he actually words it much nicer…then he suggested he get the problem taken care of on his end which left me aghast.

The talks about children were very unique for us with our huge age difference having us both at different life stages.  I could go either way but I feel like there are way too many children right now that do not have proper shelter, food, whatever for it to be the most responsible choice.  In this adopting might be kinder.  I also know that the bible does say be fruitful!

Ken says that he has always wanted a kid but that if it doesn’t happen, he’ll be okay with that.  He understands my point of view on adopting also, but would prefer one of his own.  Not to mention good sir was raised Catholic.

So, snipped?!  When I told him no because of our previous discussions of him always wanting a kid, he brought up adoption from my suggestion.  I pointed out that he had said he always said he wanted a kid of his own so no snipping and he actually teared up.  Whoa.  Well, glad we got that straightened out! 
The other thing that we discussed was my moods.  In the end it’s exactly as I’ve been saying, I’m a bitch.  I need to be nicer, specifically I need to react in a less extreme manner.  Okay, can do.

Back to baby sister Bean.  We haven’t talked directly about any problems we’ve had since she came to live down here.  I’ve been clear with my expectations but she hasn’t met any of them.  Well no, I lie.  She does have a job.  That’s a definate plus and looking at it like that makes it clear it could be much worse.  The best idea would probably be to sit down and talk to her either directly one on one or all of us that are immediately involved.


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