Hey it’s hard to focus on the present when the past makes you want to cry and the future makes you nauseated. I’m doubting everything. Did I make the right choices anywhere in my life?! I don’t know what the hell is going on right now, my mental state is like freakin’ Eeyore.
I need to pick myself up and try again but now that I’ve fallen on the floor I realize that as uncomfortable as it is, I think I just want to lay here and take a nap.
This job sucks the daylights out of me, maybe I’ll look into calligraphy first. I can order a kit online later today. That’s a simple start.
The music for the stupid wedding is done. Finally.
Still trying recipes out. Tomorrow I’m trying a few different recipes for salads to be put into hollowed out oranges. An egg salad, a fruit salad, and melon balls.
I guess I’ll get my own pans and make my own cake since my boss gave me a hard time about ordering the cake layers at work.
I’m continuing to sludge forward but honestly, I don’t feel happy about it. I just want to sit down and cry. Screw this wedding.
First things first, my ass is taking today off. I woke up with a headache and a severe need to spend many hours in the bathroom today. Going to see what else I can get narrowed down for change 20. Also, things need to change, starting with my daily routine. I have one that works at work but honest to goodness I can’t even get to work if my damn marbles are rolling down the street.