Sanity where did I put you?

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Hey it’s hard to focus on the present when the past makes you want to cry and the future makes you nauseated.  I’m doubting everything.  Did I make the right choices anywhere in my life?!  I don’t know what the hell is going on right now, my mental state is like freakin’ Eeyore.

I need to pick myself up and try again but now that I’ve fallen on the floor I realize that as uncomfortable as it is, I think I just want to lay here and take a nap. 

This job sucks the daylights out of me, maybe I’ll look into calligraphy first.  I can order a kit online later today.  That’s a simple start.

The music for the stupid wedding is done.  Finally. 

Still trying recipes out.  Tomorrow I’m trying a few different recipes for salads to be put into hollowed out oranges.  An egg salad, a fruit salad, and melon balls. 

I guess I’ll get my own pans and make my own cake since my boss gave me a hard time about ordering the cake layers at work. 

I’m continuing to sludge forward but honestly, I don’t feel happy about it.  I just want to sit down and cry.  Screw this wedding. 

First things first, my ass is taking today off.  I woke up with a headache and a severe need to spend many hours in the bathroom today.  Going to see what else I can get narrowed down for change 20.  Also, things need to change, starting with my daily routine.  I have one that works at work but honest to goodness I can’t even get to work if my damn marbles are rolling down the street.

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