Damn it, no cake dummies yesterday but I’m going to get them done today by golly!
I gotta’ hand it to Pinterest, they’re the cake decorator’s dream. The cat’s meow.
I’m really pushing my limits here. I’m convinced I’m really a lazy person fronting as a regular worker. My ambition feels like it’s at an all time low and that sucks. I have to be able to do my job completely and successfully here in the bakery or I don’t think I can plan to be here long term. Mentally the last three days have ended with me feeling like I’m catching up. Not saying anything about my co-workers and my low patience, just the status of the bakery itself. I’m almost caught up on the cleaning and almost caught up on backup product. Doing this pushes my physical limits, but obviously it’s not resolving the issue. Considering how I’m trying to get more hours now anyway, at least I have time consider different solutions and find one that’ll work to fix this.
I wrote that before going into work at 5 this morning. I’m on my lunch break now. Oh geez what a surprise, the whole world’s changed since then. Not in a good way this time. I got everything set up on the decorator’s side; dishes put up, frozen delivery put away, production list filled out, checked the dates on product, filled all the product on the floor, and started on today’s orders- all before my boss showed up at seven. I was so excited about that amazing progress that her glare towards me and all the criticizing since she walked in has really made me unhappy. I’m shocked, I did a good job, I do a good job. I get good reviews, customer compliments, even got a raise yesterday!
But today this lady is ripping me a new one, giving me speeches about how everything needs to be done exactly like the book says. Hey man I agree completely, I respect the customer! That’s not a reason to single me out repeatedly and try to make me feel like a piece of shit. She has moments of it must be exactly by the book all the time, but she doesn’t walk the talk.
I’m over it, I’ve had enough. I love my job but there are too many conflicting messages making it so that I can’t do my job. On top of that, there are way too many people with way too much drama and I have evidently patience and self discipline the size of a pea.
So I prayed and I thought and I considered. There are other ways to the top. I’ll keep this job, but the slight amount of money increase for the overtime isn’t worth it. If time is money, I’ll take the time. I’m going to remain focused on my wedding first and foremost. At the same time though, there are other options available to make income. I’m thinking of selling on Etsy, teaching decorating, or even event planning.
I’ll go back in from lunch today knowing that this place is just my job for now. It’s a great company don’t get me wrong, I just don’t feel like I can ever feel good about never fully completing my work. Never. There’s always more to decorate or clean and no matter how long I stay or how fast I work, it never gets that endless list done.
Well, pray. Pray for my co-workers. Pray for my patience. Pray for understanding.
He would continue to be kind, wise, and gentle. To serve others without complaint.
Okay, Jesus. I’ll try. But I really wanna’ throw a pie in my boss’s face and walk out, not thank her for her advice after she yells at me.