Full Load

I am worried that it’s the twentieth already and I still have so much to do on my monthly list.  Out of the twenty items on that list I still have eleven left, and they’re not all easy!  Today I can knock off two of them: ordering the layers for our main wedding cake and getting the pouring jars for the sand ceremony.  Wednesday I can knock off another two by getting the earrings that came free with my wedding dress (the string attached to that one was that the nearest store is in Orlando), and visiting my aunt and uncle in Orlando.  Then that leaves eight. Still a LOT. 

If I buckle down on Thursday I can get our invitations sent out, get a list of rehab options in the mail for my older sister to choose from, and reserve the butterflies for our wedding.  That leaves five.

One of the remaining is to study guns (one of the challenges for the year).  I can do that throughout this week.  Down to four.

I’m trying to get the music part of the wedding knocked out by the end of the month, and my friend said he’ll have the songs we chose on a flash drive by Tuesday, and I just need to hop online and get some wireless speakers and mics.  Three left.

Gotta fix my w-2 from last year.  Easy online chore.  Two.

Gotta go back to my house for the last two: hours of going through my dad’s stuff still to get done.  Damn it.  That’ll be the hardest.

The last thing on the list is to make sure that my wedding wardrobe is set to go.  I need to attach clips to some small butterflies I got that I plan to use to bustle my dress.  I also need to get a necklace to wear that day.  I’m thinking Ron Jon’s will be the place for that!  After those two things, the only thing left is to try everything on then I’m all set on that score-whew. 

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Work seemed slightly less stressful yesterday as far as my workload.  It’s incredibly difficult to keep my big, blabbering trap shut though.  Making a list and cleaning between crossing things off got a lot done but at the end of the day I ran into the same obstacle that I so often do – by the time I run out of steam I’ve worked on production too long and am too tired to clean up properly. 

Making a list sounds logical but how can I know when I need to start cleaning up when I don’t know when exhaustion will over tempt me to do a half assed job of cleaning up?  I’ll try keeping things clean all day today to the point where I’ll have minimal clean up left to do when it comes time that I must skidaddle or collapse tonight. 

The new store manager did start yesterday and my impression of him is pretty much the same as I thought yesterday.  Hope.

I’m going to do my best to get some new display cakes done, I love the oohs and ahhs from that.  Graduation will definitely be one and I’m thinking a simple mother’s day 1/4 sheet would help our dessert items for that holiday. 

I want to be a kind person but I get so frustrated with my co-workers on a daily bases that I can’t even stand myself.  I really just wish I could just be quiet since that seems to be the most sure way not to say or do the wrong thing. 

Today my bosses are all back on their conflicting messages wagon again, thinking that they’re all the one that’s right.  How did I get stuck being the focus of everything so often?

On a good note, I got almost twelve thousand steps in yesterday according to fit bit.  Coming in early and leaving late is springing a few unexpected bonuses my way!

But…I can’t keep working within this kaleidoscope of a job description.  I can stay and work for the money, I can keep putting myself through these emotional ups and downs, or I can…what?  Isn’t there a third option?  ??

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