Where’s this path going anyway?


This morning I prayed and God said write and it will come.

Okay seriously why do we call it God’s voice when he makes no audible noise (at least not that I’ve ever heard)?  Not that I want him to talk out loud or anything, I imagine it would be freaking painfully loud.  What.

Ahem.  Back to this morning.

I woke up this morning once again with everything a girl could want.  Safe in myy own home, cozy in my bed next to a fiance who I love.

I am comfortable here and could easily stay.  Keep at this job till I retire, each week running together with a repeat of chores and errands.  Each year bringing deja vu of the same holidays and seasons. 


I struggled all day yesterday with tying to decide if I could go down to part time at work.  The pros were an extra day off each week, the schedule would work around me instead of me bending to it, and being able to leave work when I’m scheduled.  The cons were losing the pay from that extra day, no vacation or sick pay, and lower bonuses. 

Then the balls dropped that made up my mind.  No it wouldn’t really effect me financially until I realized that the top out pay for a part time decorator is less than what I’m making.  It wouldn’t have changed my healthcare benefits until I was told and then read the news about Obamacare changing the required hours for insurance. 

That’s too risky when Publix sometimes scares me the way big companies do.  I wish us little people working our lives away in the store could communicate with the higher ups that are Mr George’s now.  I’m glad I have the opportunity to be with Publix though because at any other company I would have less choices about my future to begin with!

So obviously I am going to stay full time.


But all that thinking was what started me back on the thought process I was in the other day; now that I am enough and have enough, what’s next?

I don’t want to just live a normal American woman life.  I don’t even want to be one of those few that starts a successful charity or goes overseas on missions.  I want more.  Bigger. 

So it’s back to me wanting to change the world but I’m still stuck on how.  I pray to God Please lead me.

There is an answer but no amount of research online or at the library is going to uncover any information about how this has been done before.  So I know every journey begins with a single step but I can’t even figure out which direction to start stepping!


Let’s begin with what I do know:

– I want everyone to have access to technology and education.  Everyone has their own skills. What if that old lady in Jordan who lives in a hut unable to do anything important because all she has ever been able to do is work to survive, what if that old lady’s talent was really in science?  What if because she never had any chance for education she didn’t invent that part of the international space station that would have sped up our technological advances hundreds of years? I basically have always thought this way, like in the post I wrote last October Change Could…
– I want all of our cultures to fight less.  Islam Jihadists have a definite reason they do what they do.  Yes it’s extreme.  No I do not agree with it but then again I’m not them and was raised quite differently from the way I was. I am like most Americans and have very little knowledge of what their bible says.  I do know that God scattered us all over the earth and gave us all these different languages which logically led to all these different cultures and religions.  But I think we’re all right.  Each is different yet the same.  If one culture percieves their version of religion so drastically different and mortally overpowering of all others then the answer is simple.  That culture is either right in which it needs to educate others so we can live with God’s approval.  Or that culture is wrong in which it needs to seek to educate itself to live in the way God commands us.  There’s really no need for such stupid anger instead of just figuring out which way is really the right way. 

That’s what I do know I want.  I also know there are others who want change the world from the Red Cross to single missionaries around the world.  I know that a lot of people are very against change and won’t even open their eyes to logic. 

Since I see education, technology, and opportunity as being the foundation of this change I think perhaps it would be wise to start making steps towards that direction. 


I’ve really figured out a lot just now while writing this.  I need to find a good schedule that will allow me to keep up with my daily life, my job, and start taking steps towards changing our world.


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