The Tenth Change

The end result of trying to change my attitude is to be happier, more innocent and curious, more like I thought as a child.  I just said I am my own biggest obstacle.

And yet…

Here I went again spending years on this when is only me holding me back.

I feel the need to make any changes dramatically and instantly noticeable but that’s just unnecessary.

When I was a small child I had so much joy and interest in everything.  I had a motto that I shouldn’t be afraid of talking to someone or trying something because what’s the worst that could happen?  An adult wouldn’t kill me! 

Obviously I didn’t read the news when I was little, but logically that was actually not a bad way to think.  I had such a strong faith that I wasn’t scared of dying because if that’s what God wished that is what would happen. 

Another way I used too think differently was that each day is it’s own day, I would literally leap from my bed in the morning ready to see what would happen that day because every day is so different from every other day.  That’s so true.

Not having a to do list has really made me relax and start to see each day instead of seeing a chain of days leading up to a vacation, a weekend, or a date. 

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Today I got rid of my Saab.  Said goodbye.  Told it that it was no longer the bees knees.   No longer my present.  The past is going to lay down and that bitch best not try getting in my future.  It’s not like I can trip on what’s behind me now can I?

The Tenth Change will be my life after Saab.  AkA life after past.

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