The worst change

Yesterday I lost someone who changed my life.  I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I’m supposed to feel.

Suicide is an act that someone does to themselves that changes everything.  Changes their presence into a void. 

My old friend Michael killed himself yesterday.  We once meant a lot to each other.  We had quite a dramatic relationship while we were together but I thought we had both come out this end of it for the better.  We were both wrong and knew it but the last time we communicated we were okay.  For that at least I am thankful.

From what religion I understand it is never okay, never accepted, never forgiven for taking your own life.  I pray to God for his forgiveness and for my own, for being selfish and not even attempting to bring him towards Jesus. 

Not all change is bad, but not all change is good either. 

I would have given anything to be there to tell him that he can make changes to feel better inside, that this wasn’t an option, that he had too much potential to give up so soon.

I pray to God to please, please help people that hurt that bad to make another attempt.  Life IS change, it won’t always be the way you know it right now.


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